We all have them. We’ve all had them. What is something that you haven’t told anyone because you would be embarrassed or dishonored? What’s the one thing (or multiple things) that you are reluctant to tell someone? Part of our healing comes from vulnerability, which helps us come to terms with ourselves. If there is something in your life that you are not willing to talk about with at least one person, then that is something from which you need healing.
The Dangers of Secrets
1. Secrets eventually make you pathologically afraid of the people who are closest to you. What did Adam and Eve do as soon as they heard God looking for them after eating that fruit? They hid. They hid from the person who was closest to them. (“But, wasn’t God the only other person around anyway?” some might ask. No. Adam and Eve had companion-like interactions with animals prior to the fall.)
2. Secrets cause you to lie to yourself. Why would you want to lie to yourself? If you can’t stop lying to yourself, then you can’t expect other people to stop lying to you.
3. Secrets cause you to lie to the people who are closest to you. Not only do you learn to hide, you also learn to lie to the people who would drop anything for you. This pushes people away and makes them wonder what they did to invoke your lies.
4. Secrets lead you to miss out on what makes being human so endearing. When you open up about things that are hurting or troubling you, you realize the freedom that comes with vulnerability. You also witness the empathy and warmth that a lot of people still have. Secrets keep you from experiencing that.
Now, hear me. I’m not talking about disclosing every single detail of your life. You need to practice discretion, only confiding in people who have a proven track record of trustworthiness. I’m also not saying that the people closest to you are entitled to knowing about your inner struggles. This is about you acknowledging an area (or multiple areas) in your life that makes you uncomfortable to even think about discussing.
What is that area?
FYI: A counseling session is a great place to talk about things that are uncomfortable. If it’s something you need help sorting through, find a licensed professional counselor who has experience in this area.