Can You Not?

There’s a whole series of improvements we can make in the Church. Before you read this, please make sure you understand the way in which I’m using the question, “Can you not?” Look it up on Urban Dictionary. The words in this article are meant tongue-and-cheek.

Can you not…

…try to convert me to your denomination, sub-denomination, or non-denomination? I’m saved, and I love my local church community. We’re not trying to compete with you. We’re in fellowship together, and I would love to serve and worship God alongside you.

…use cartoon Bible characters to teach the Bible to adults? This is one reason why the recent Noah and Exodus movies were so appealing and refreshing. They stopped using cartoons and started using REAL PEOPLE to tell the Bible stories. Cartoons and clip art are fine when you’re working with kids, but not when you’re teaching adults in seminary or small groups or sermons. Come on now. Let’s be more creative.

…let yourself get distracted when you’re supposed to be changing the PowerPoint slides during worship? Worship leaders, have you ever wondered why it suddenly gets quiet when you transition to the next verse of a song? You hear the congregation singing loudly, “I want to praise, the wonders of Your mighty love,” and you, so moved by how passionately everyone is singing, burst out loudly, “MY COMFORT,” and you suddenly hear no one but yourself singing. (Ok, granted most worship teams have earbuds in there ears, but just follow along.) Ever wonder why this happens? It’s because your PowerPoint guy or gal isn’t paying attention to what’s going on in the service, so it’s either no one knows if they’re supposed to keep moving with you or that no one knows the words to the latest trendy worship song. You want others to be fully engaged during the worship service, but you can’t expect this from your congregation if your team isn’t modeling it. Plus, it’s awkward. Really awkward.
…regurgitate the same I’m-better-with-faces-than-names line that everyone else says? Have you noticed that everyone else says the exact same thing? Try remembering people’s names the first time you meet them. If you don’t recognize a person’s name, then just say you don’t know the person, because if you really knew the person, you would know his or her name. Don’t try to pretend like you know someone by saying, “I’m sure I would recognize his or her face.” That’s not knowing someone. That’s called LYING.

…scroll through Facebook while you’re in class? First of all it’s distracting to everyone else around you. Nobody wants to see pictures of your breakfast while talking about systematic theology. Second of all, it must be nice to have $100/week to sit through a 3-hour class and not even pay attention to the class lecture. Oh, you’re bored? Well, ask some questions! Third of all, what do you expect to teach others if you never learn anything from the course because you spent the whole class time on Facebook? Would the people who support you be pleased to know that you’re wasting their hard-earned money by scrolling through Facebook all day?

Thank you. You’re awesome!